Sowing in the Rain

"My Spirit remains in your midst. Fear NOT."

Fall sparks trees with living flames of fire. I drove to the gray clad Sound near my house yesterday and stood in the rain against a wall of trees. The rain smeared their colors like bleeding cray pas down my line of vision. Hair weeping, body shaking, I stood in the rain and looked out over the waters. A large statue of Leif Erikson beckons the boats in the little shipyard there, and I climbed atop his massive wooden anchor to stand behind the visionary - the pioneer - and trap adventure through his line of sight.

The rain pushed at my shoulders; I raised my arms. I laughed loud and surrendered to the passion of the waves beating, beating, beating against their forged cement shore. I felt victorious. Like a conqueror. A warrior.

Warrior of an upside down Kingdom. One who does not believe in bloodshed, force, power, control. One who believes instead in Shalom: the victory of community when, by default, priority is placed on blessing the Other rather than blessing the Self.

"Now, therefore, thus says the LORD of hosts: Consider your ways. You have sown much, and harvested little. . . ." Haggai heard from God - Did you expect to be satisfied by personal prosperity when My house lies in ruins?

Lord, I think I did. Or perhaps I didn't realize how much of my life is still focused on personal gain and building my own house. Forgive me for self seeking. Set me free.

I sat with an old friend over a steaming mug of tea in the aftermath of the rain war yesterday evening. Old friends are like trees. I smell in the bark memories of time's passage, and the hopes and dreams that banistered my heart-walls are called to life from haunted catacombs.

Years ago, a college chapel late one Monday evening, I spoke of a Kingdom. An unshakable one. Of what it is to give LIFE to that Kingdom, to sow LIFE into that Kingdom - to sow into a Kingdom that NEVER dies. To sow into a Kingdom where the fruit that is born lasts forever, and only multiplies.

My tomatoes are dead now and will not resurrect. How different than a Soul. How much value is in one Soul. One eternal being - one world inside a world so in need of a King.

I have sown into my own Kingdom, Lord Jesus, and I am empty and dry. Forgive me. I am frustrated with the harvest, because it's not sustainable and not what I wanted to plant.

Sometimes, when I look outside, I fall in love. I see the colors, the lines, the shapes, the movements - and all I want to do is capture with words what I can never paint. Lord, You have made Your world beautiful. But I don't want to set my sights on the earth that You've promised Haggai You'll shake again. I want to set my sights on a Kingdom that is everlasting.

Take my eyes off the seen. Give me faith for the unseen. Give me Your heart for Souls. I want to stand on the Anchor of Your Hope, Jesus (Heb 6), in the middle of the pouring rain, and cry VICTORY over DEATH into the darkness. Arise and shine - You are the Light we long for, King Jesus.